The first crop
2007-05-04

I pulled my first crop ever. Behold nature's blurry bounty (Christ, I can't believe I get paid to take photos)!

The horrible thing is I can't even eat them as I have been having stomach issues and my doctor has told me to stay away from spicy food and booze for a couple weeks. More on that in my next entry (don't worry, it's nothing serious).

Remember when I was talking about the former owner of our house and how she had buried giant slabs of concrete and assorted garbage in the ground and I had further mentioned that I was afraid to keep digging? Well what I found last week makes me wish for concrete chunks.

It was so horrific that I am not even going to mention it here. Ask me about it next time you see me (or email me if you must), but I promise you, you do not want to know. If I ever see the former owner again, I am going kick her until her head falls off (and bury that in her new front yard). All I can say is thank god it was in the front yard and miles away from the garden.

Sorry for the abbreviated post, but I have been swamped with work and writing my next LeftLion column. I will post a proper post here next Tuesday. I will leave you with this fun fact: Nottingham is named after a dude named "Snot" and it used to be called "Snotingaham".

I. kid. you. not.

Enjoy the long weekend!

UPDATE--MAY 8, 2007
Ok, after comments, emails and forum witch hunts, I will tell you that what I found was indeed a bag of human shit.

Turns out it is common for builders to bury the waste from port-o-potties ON SITE, even if that site is someone's fucking house. And this is LEGAL!! They are also to blame for all the concrete slabs that were under the ground in the backyard.

Dirty fucking limey builder BASTARDS.

Nothing surprises me in this country anymore.