And suddenly, a new contender steps into the ring...
2007-01-14

Regular readers of my blog will know that my number one, biggest bugbear about living in the UK is the customer service I receive in this country.

My bank, Lloyd's TSB, has up to now been a shining light amongst the crap companies in the UK when it came to customer service. They gave me an account, a VISA card and an overdraft when I needed it without batting an eye EVEN when they had no record of me when I first moved over. Much better than my wife's bank, Natwest. Even though Kate is a British citizen and has had a Natwest account since she was sixteen, to get a VISA card she still had to fill in about a million forms, meet with the manager, show ten pieces of ID, give them a utility bill etc. I'm surprised they didn't ask for a retina scan and cavity search. Not Lloyd's, they've been great.

Until today.

Because we live overseas, the easiest gift to give us at Christmas is money. We just bought a house, we've got tons of payments, so dough is a great gift. My mom sent us a money order that she bought from the post office in Canada. I know they are accepted at the post offices here, but I thought rather than getting them cashed at the post office and then depositing the cash into the bank, why don't I just see if the bank will take them?

They did with no questions. Hooray for Lloyd's! They've done it again.

Got this letter in the mail last week:

Dear Mr Cutforth

Re: Account number [REMOVED]

I write with reference to an item, copy attached, paid in over our counters back in December.

Unfortunately, this type of credit can only be processed by the Post Office and should therefore not have been accepted into your account.

The amount has been debited to your above numbered account and the original item cannot be returned to you.

You will therefore need to contact the issuer of the item to arrange for a replacement to be issued which should then submit to the Post Office for processing.

I apologise for any inconvenience caused as a result of this.

Yours sincerely

[SIGNATURE]

Mrs R Kelham
Manager's Assistant

Are you fucking kidding me? Not only did they take the money back, but they can't give me the original money order back, AND they didn't even offer to compensate for the cost to get the money order, or the eight hundred long distance phone calls it would take to sort out. W-T-F.

What infuriates me the most is that she signed it "Mrs Kelham", without giving me her first name so now if I call Lloyd's to ask about it, I will be forced into being polite. I hate that.

I love how they think I can just ask the post office in Canada for a replacement. How is that conversation supposed to go? "Yeah, um, hi can I get some more money please? the bank lost it." I might as well tell them my dog ate it.

I never thought I would see the day where a company pissed me off more than Ryanair. I was wrong.

Fuck you Lloyds TSB. Fuck you in your pasty white, money grubbing ass.