America pilot
2006-08-12

I've just finished the first draft on my new script. It is the first in a TV mini-series about America in the future after a major global incident. Yes, I am being purposefully vague. :) With all the crazy shit going on in the middle east, global warming, comet near misses, and that flipping Bill Bryson book, I've been thinking alot lately about what the world would look like if some world changing event actually did happen and whether or not it might be a good thing. This script explores that a bit.

You can get a copy of it here:

America series pilot episode.

Not sure how many episodes it would be, but I have a pretty clear idea about how I want it to progress. I have written the ending, but don't want to show it to anyone yet.

If you are interested in reading the first draft of the first episode, email me or mention you are interested in the comments and I will email you the password. All I ask is that (as usual) you give me some honest feedback. PLEASE READ IT!!

Anyway, I can't remember if I mentioned in here before the feedback I got from my script "Human Resources"... From friends and family, it was quite positive (obviously, thanks guys!). Most people seemed to think it was funny which is good, considering it's a comedy and all. In fact, the dialogue was highly praised by friends and pros alike. Niall Clark, a script editor from the Comedy Unit (a British television development company) said "I did like the setting and there were some good lines, apt observations and some very well written comic moments."

His highest praise was for the setting in a greeting card factory, he mentioned it a couple times which I thought was funny. Not just because it is such a minor part of the play, but because it was an idea given to me by a guy in the playwright's circle back in Calgary. HR was originally written to take place in a university. The guy in my playwright's circle (I wish I could remember his name!) has since written and produced a play called Romeo and Hamlet, which splices (quite cleverly) text from a number of Shakespeare's plays to create a gay romance between two of Shakespeare's biggest characters. Yes, he knows he is going to burn in hell for that one.

Everybody loved the furry scene, thanks to Ken Cameron at Alberta Playwright's network that told me about the whole furry phenomenon. In fact, most people said it was the funniest part of the play.

The final scene got mixed reviews. People either loved it or hated it. The original ending had Auto come back and shoot the place up. EVERYBODY hated that, so getting a 50/50 response is a positive one.

The main complaints were that people had a hard time believing that you would have to keep a relationship secret at work. In fact, that was the reason The Comedy Unit passed on it. Niall said the relationship felt contrived. I also got a couple comments that people were sick of office comedies. And to be honest, I can't even look at "the Office" anymore myself... I think "the IT crowd" is the final nail in the coffin for office comedies in Britain. oh well.

The BBC sent me a card saying that it had been received and would be reviewed in the next six months. Six months will be up near the end of August. I'll let you know if I hear of anything.

The Nottingham playhouse emailed me to tell me about a playwriting group they are starting. If I get accepted, I'll get some tutoring by real LIVE dramaturgs. I am sending "Human Resources" over next week and they will make the decisions in September. Cross your fingers.